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Recollection, Part I

by The Calculus Affair

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1.
This is side A
2.
Sweet Time 03:01
I tried to write a song for you, but you know how it goes. I tried to keep the secret but somehow everyone knows. I had to build a bridge to get this far, Just to stand in sight of where you are. Sweet time, The ticking clock and then the sounding chime, All the world will try to tell you, All the world will try to sell you, Sweet, sweet time. Sweet time, Every moment taken is a crime, Everything that will obsess you, Everyone who will possess you, Sweet, sweet time. I tried to write a song for you, but you know how it went. Nothing new under the sun, all the money spent. I had to build a bridge to get this far, Just to stand in sight of where you are.
3.
In the dark apocalypse of fairy tales and pickup sticks, An unfamiliar shadow on the wall. Impenetrable blanket fort, breathing as a last resort, He curls up and makes his body small. He lies in bed and listens for the logic of ships. Toys and books, a diving bell, a curious and private hell, Somewhere deep and distant something roars. Peeking out in black and white, a distant and unearthly light Is creeping in and underneath the door. He lies in bed and listens for the logic of ships. No one else can hear the sound that he knows is all around, The memory of this harbor feeling still. All these clicks and whirs and hums are all gone if morning comes. His eyes are closing now against his will He lies in bed and listens for the logic of ships.
4.
Clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, As we waited for the hammer to fall, And I didn't care at all. Didn't care to look above or below me, Couldn't hear that distant call. I didn't care at all. But in my quiet moments, when they come along, I wonder if my calculus was wrong? These are the times that try our purpose, These are the ties that bind, And I never used to mind. These are the times that test our mettle, Overlooking eyes that are blind, And I never used to mind. But in my quiet moments, when they come along, I wonder if my assumptions were wrong? If there's no greater purpose than living for the day, Then the dream is not that far away. Clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens...
5.
Stay With Me 03:40
He's got two burning suns where his eyes should be, In the after-image when you look away. You'll dig yourself a hole and you will crawl inside, But he will stay. In a fevered sweat in his bed at night, He imagines that his body's in a cell. A tremor comes upon him like the ground beneath him shakes, And he's awake. Screaming, "Please, please stay with me," "Open up your head and wait around," "Please, please stay with me," "Don't bring me down." Please, please stay with me, Open up your heart and let me in, Please, please stay with me, Where have you been? And he breathes (hangs in the air) And he leaves (there's no one there) Now he's off his clock, there's no time to talk, But he whispers, "Stay with me." I felt his fever break in the dead of night, But at that point I could only let him be. And then I realized that there was no one left, To rescue me.
6.
It's late at night with my eyes on the road, And the bridges are down but still everything's slow. And the traffic reports are ignoring the cracks, That have formed in the walls that were holding you back From hollow hellos And then out of the dark comes a series of lights, That the pattern is there only proves you were right. I stare at the window only hoping to see, You coming back to me, With hollow hellos The hour is late, you must be sleeping somewhere, I just burned through the time, Tried to kill the despair. I must be too much on my own. It's late at night I should probably go, But I'm waiting for you and I think that you know.
7.
B B B B B This is side B
8.
Saturnalia 03:19
The philosopher Catalus at the end of his days Let the wine go straight to his head He brooded on subject then instead of his rooms Took refuge in vino instead He said to us all, "People, these are the times, "And these are the methods we've found. "When you see that the world is crumbling around you, "It's better to follow it down." So we now we are Dancing by the fire, dancing by the moon, Knowing that the morning will come too soon. Dancing by the moon, dancing under stars Dancing 'cause the world don't feel like ours. "When you think of these things later on in your life," He said, "You'll remember the times, "That you spent seeking approval of peers, "And not seeking out the sublime." And then he got quiet and lowered his eyes, As if he were ready for sleep. But if you looked careful you'd see there were tears Of a great man beginning to weep. And so we are...
9.
Every Day 03:36
I've got a new paragraph. You there with sand in your shoes, Have the look of someone who's about to try and sell books to me. You've got a look in your eye, And you are not what you seem, And the lines you are feeding me now are not just your new master's dreams. These storms will come when the sky is grey, For the rain it raineth every day. I'm the corrupter of words, I shine everywhere like the sun, I live by the church and all the rest of this stuff I just do for fun. You leave me nothing to say, It's the same every day, Every day. But words these days, like a glove's embrace, Turned inside out for a slap to the face, But all this time it's all the same to me. I drink my fill and I fall into bed, A tosspot me with my drunken head, But all this time it's all the same to me. They've undressed you at last, And since I'm nobody's clown, I've made a note of your tricks, And I'm going to write every single one of them down. These storms will come when the sky is grey, For the rain it raineth every day.
10.
There's a little jug band playing out there in the snow, Standing on the corner in the cold playing a show. Stop to listen to their music, forget what my trouble is, They play a little melody that goes something like this: Out there making music with whatever they can find, Travelers left over from a world that's left behind. Stop to listen to their music, forget what my trouble is, They play a little melody that goes something like this: And then they sing... And then they sing... Stop to listen to their music, forget what my trouble is, They play a little melody that goes something like this: It goes like this, It goes like this,
11.
Green grow the rushes, oh, The holy and the ivy in snow. One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so. Winter brings in the season of joy, Another toy for the lily white boy. And the color of clothes from his head to his toes, Is green, green, green Deck the halls in the names of bright shiners Dress your love warm for nights in between And the ribbons she'll wear in her long and dark hair Are green, green, green Green, green the rivals, oh, Bear the symbols to your door. They stood once for love and for courage and trust, I don't think that they do anymore. Seven sisters still shine in the sky, Green grow the holy and ivy in snow. One is one will ever be seen dressed in green, green, green.
12.
Instrumental

about

Every year in February, a ragtag bunch of internet misfits, men and women who never quite gave up the dream of being rock-and-roll stars, gather virtually together to compete in The RPM Challenge. The Challenge is to write and record an album of 10 songs or 35 minutes in the month of February. If you complete it, you win. This album marks the 13th year in a row that I have completed The Challenge. Here's a funny thing that happens when you do something over and over again for 13 years: you get better at it.

In one way this album is a cheat, because I used songs from earlier RPM Albums as demos to complete it. In another, truer way, it is the most honest RPM album I have made. While it's not part of the official rules, the mantra of the RPM Challenge is this: The Challenge is what you make it. I made this record in a month. It also took me 13 years—13 years to acquire the material, and to learn how to use tools to record, mix, and master music. This album is literally (aurally?) what I have made of The RPM Challenge.

credits

released April 2, 2019

Written, Performed, Recorded, Mixed, Produced, and Mastered
by Marz

Cover Art by Marz
Calculus Affair Logo by Ben Bauermeister
Album Order and Side A/B Concept: Sam Chambers
Additional Mixing and Mastering Help: Laurie Frankel, Sam Chambers, & Rebecca Brown

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The Calculus Affair Seattle, Washington

The Calculus Affair is what happens when a Seattle-based singer songwriter learns folk guitar and then spends his formative years listening to XTC.

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