Songs, 1995​-​2010

by The Calculus Affair

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04:22
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03:00
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03:22
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02:29
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03:38
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03:45
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about

AS ALANIS MORISSETTE'S LAWYERS FIGURE IT, 97% of bands with major label record contracts earn less than $600 from them. That's 600 bucks to bands which are already the 1% of the 1% that made it that far. That's the dream, and apparently the overwhelmingly likely result of that dream is a payday in the high/middle three-figures.

I started playing guitar at 16 because there was one under my parents' bed and I couldn't get ahold of a drum set. Back then, I always used to dream about making it--I'd imagine some industry bigwig happening across one of my recordings or sitting in a coffee shop where I was playing and deciding that the next big thing was me. I grew up and got a day job and eventually stopped playing that particular scene in my head. But I never stopped playing. I kept writing songs. I kept recording them. Fifteen years went by like that; this is the record of those years.

Every time I pick up the guitar and work on something new, I feel this little bit of extra potential energy; it's an electrical charge of almost mystical possibility--I think every artist feels it. I used to think it was the lure and promise of potential rock-stardom, but at some point along the line, I realized it couldn't possibly be anything so small as that. In 15 years, I've figured out that it's a promise of something within, not without; more than that it'll probably take me the next 15 years to figure out.

credits

released May 31, 2011

All songs written, performed, produced, and © copyright 2011 by Paul Mariz and The Calculus Affair.

All songs recorded at The Cowslip's Bell in Seattle, Washington. Additional recording and mixing for "Men of Luggage" was done with the assistance of Gino Scarpino at Joralemon House, Seattle. Gino and Jason Hyatt also sang backing vocals on that song.

Poor Young Man was mastered by Steve Turnidge at UltraViolet Studios, Seattle.

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about

The Calculus Affair Seattle, Washington

The Calculus Affair is the solo project of Seattle musician Paul Mariz. Paul plays music out in the world as a member of The Rejections, a band made up of novelists and their trailing spouses (of which he is the latter).

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Track Name: The Bridge
I'm going over the bridge it's the long way home
But the drive isn't half what it seems
And the red brake lights look like rivers of electric blood flows in parallel streams

But love gets you only so far
Regret gets you only so far

I'm going over the bridge and the water is rough
And the spray bursts up on the windshield
And glancing across, the lea side rests, the quietness there is concealed

She's living miles and miles and more from me now
And she'll only move further away.
It gets so hard to explain when you're living alone and it was always already that way.

I'm going over the bridge and I'm thinking of you
And how strange everything seems to be
I could go over the edge, I could dive right in, and the water I'd join easily.

But love gets you only so far
Regret gets you only so far
Track Name: Sweet Time
I tried to write a song for you, but you know how it goes
I tried to keep the secret but somehow everyone knows
I had to build a bridge to get this far
Just to stand in sight of where you are

Oh sweet, sweet time
The ticking clock and then the sounding chime.
All the world will try to tell you
All the world will try to sell you
Oh, sweet sweet time

Oh sweet, sweet time
The ticking clock and then the sounding chime.
Everything that will obsess you
Everyone that will possess you
Oh, sweet sweet time

I tried to write a song for you, but you know how it went
Nothing new under the sun with all the money spent
I had to build a bridge to get this far
Just to stand in sight of where you are
Track Name: Men Of Luggage
Men of luggage, check your coats,
Sit down and stay awhile,
Loosen your ties.
Enough rope to hang yourselves
Is waiting on the nightstand
When you're picking up the phone.
I thought at least
You would have figured out by now

That same mistake
That you'll make over and over again

In your lives.
You're burying the past,
Then just digging up the graves.
Don't feel bad,
I know you'd fight it if you could.
Making up the rivals
Who are knocking down your door
Don't hang around,
They might be coming back for blood.

That same mistake
That you'll make over and over again,
That same heartbreak
That you'll make over and over again.

So travel light.

And you're wearing the coat
That isn't keeping out the cold
And you carry that torch for yourself.
And I warn you the flame
Might just burn you at the touch
But you don't want to hear about it all that much.
So travel light.

Men of luggage turn around,
Try to retrace your steps
I do not think they will be coming back for you.
Men of luggage it's okay,
It's hard to live this life.
In your shoes I don't know what I would do.

That same mistake
That you'll make over and over again.
That same heartbreak
That you'll make over and over again.

So travel light.
Track Name: Poor Young Man
Poor young man sits alone in his house,
There in the room as the light fades out,
Will ease his mind as the time will allow,
What will become of him now?

Poor young man in a land unknown,
There crying out, knows that he's alone.
His tragedy goes unseen somehow,
What will become of him now?

Save some face, oh poor young man,
And spare these graces while you can,
And take some pieces of your life,
Oh poor young man think twice.

Save some face, oh poor young man,
And spare these graces while you can,
And take two cents from your good advice,
Oh poor young man think twice.

Poor young man sits alone in his room,
Counting his woes (so he hopes we assume),
But his tragedy goes unseen somehow,
What will become of him now?
Track Name: Memphis
I'm gonna go to Memphis and I'm gonna play a show.
Gonna tell all the girls who've never heard
And all the boys who know.
I'm gonna go to Memphis, gonna get on the stage.
Gonna take my baby on the road
And our lives are gonna change.

I'm gonna go to Memphis
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'm gonna go to Memphis and I'm gonna sign a deal.
Gonna buy myself a touring van
Gonna get behind the wheel.
I'm gonna go to Memphis, gonna get my music heard.
And all the people listening are gonna spread the word.

I'm gonna go to Memphis
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'm gonna go to Memphis at the end of the run.
Gonna thank the people who turned out
Give regards to everyone.
Gonna play a show in Memphis, do as they do in Rome
Gonna play a show in Memphis
Then I'm think I'm gonna go home.

Gonna go to Memphis,
Yes, yes, yes, yes
Track Name: The Man Who Used to Hunt Cougars for Bounty
Coming to the VU on a cold fall night,
Blending with the crowd in my trenchcoat and a tie,
Everyone will dance and we will rock and roll all night long.
The Fellows are opening for Jon and Ken,
Helping us to reach a state of teenage zen
As cool as anything that I knew.
I knew I was wrong.

And you wanting everyone you know to always be okay.

Follow you at night, we go across Red Square,
It's one in the morning and there's no one else there.
Kneeling in the fountain, I hear your whispers in the dark.
The viewing of the sky in telephoto lens,
Gave me the illusion we could just be friends
Now we're shaking hands, agree to always drift apart.

And I loved you so, even though you would already leave me.
You took a stand next to, "The Man Who Used to Hunt Cougars For Bounty."
Track Name: Pipe Dream
I've got a pipe dream, you've got a lot of nerve
Teaching the angels all the time
I've got another thing working in my favor,
You teach the angels and you're mine.

Lost at the market now, for several hours.
There in the aisles watching you
Are all the secret agents working undercover.
They wish they had you, but I do.

You got it good (you don't know how good you got it).

With the perfect alibi you've got no excuse,
You could phone it in, but what's the use?
You've got it good.

You've got a pipe dream, I'm underwater.
Drowning in it now you're near.
I've got a secret now I'll never tell you:
You are the pipe dream and you're here.

You got it good...
Track Name: Every Day
I've got a new paragraph
You there with sand in your shoes
Have the look of someone about
To try and sell books to me

You've got a look in your eye
And you are not what you seem
And the lines you are feeding me now
Are not just your new master's dreams

These storms will come when the sky is grey
For the rain it raineth every day

I'm the corrupter of words
I shine everywhere like the sun
I live by the church and all the rest of this stuff
I just do for fun
You leave me nothing to say
It's the same every day
Every day.

But words these days like a glove's embrace
Turned inside out for a slap to the face
But all this time it's all the same to me
I'll drink my fill and I'll fall into bed
A tosspot me with my drunken head
But all this time it's all the same to me

They've undressed you at last
And since I'm nobody's clown
I've made a note of your tricks
And I'm going to write every single one of them down
Track Name: Prince of Tyre
Sail,
Sail across the ocean blue,
Close the gap from me to you.
Prince of Tyre, take me higher.
You alone of all these men can break the spell.

Sail,
Prince of Tyre come back to me,
Sail back across the sea.
Prince of Tyre, take me higher.
You alone of all these men can break the spell.
Track Name: Stay With Me
He's got two burning suns where his eyes should be
In the after-image when you look away
You'll dig yourself a hole and then you'll crawl inside
But he will stay

In a fevered sweat in his bed at night
He imagined that his body's in a cell
A tremor comes upon him like the ground beneath him shakes
And he's awake, screaming

Please please stay with me
Open up your head and wait around
Please please stay with me
Don't bring me down

Please please stay with me
Open up your heart and let me in
Please please stay with me
Where have you been?

And he breathes (hangs in the air)
And he leaves (there's no one there)
Now he's off the clock, there's no time to talk
But he whispers, "stay with me."

I felt his fever break in the dead of night
But at that point I could only let him be
And then I realized that there was no one left
To rescue me
Track Name: My Heart in Two
When you save me like you do
I will save you too.
When you catch me before I fall,
I tear down the writing with the wall.

Does it remind you of
The time you were my love?
When I tore my heart in two
To give a piece to you.

I'm walking up with someone who doesn't know the way,
We both have our arms outstretched, we're getting lost today.
But for each other, we'd be lost in the abyss,
Think of all the things if we didn't know, we'd never miss.

When you loved me for a day,
It never went away.
Track Name: I Only Wanted You
I got on a bus in some city on a river,
I was looking to get going somewhere.
And I took it as far as some faraway land,
That was just like the one I left there.
And I guess that I needed to check up on something,
That always already I knew.
They offered me the world but I only wanted you.

Took a job in an office in a big downtown high-rise,
Where the money was good.
And I came home at night saying, "this is the life,"
Knowing I should be happy, I should.
But I was still young then, I thought I'd have time for,
All the things in my life I didn't do.
They offered me the world, but I only wanted you.

Now we're sitting outside on your parents' back porch,
A little bit older, a little bit bare.
And it's cold out tonight, it's the end of December,
But it doesn't seem like you care.
And I guess just this minute I realized something,
That always already was true.
They offered me the world, but I only wanted you.